So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize