the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
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You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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