Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize