i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
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I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
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you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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