White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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