Small penises have feelings too.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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