Old men and throwing up are my life now.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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