i just sent this text using only my big toe
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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