When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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