chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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