you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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