dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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