I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize