I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
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Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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