I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize