Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize