you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
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