Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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