i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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Come see our sink grown plant.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
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Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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