Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize