she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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