Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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