Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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