Don't you send me to vm
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
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I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
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How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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