You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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