Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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