Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize