Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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