all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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