I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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