this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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