do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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