Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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