I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize