The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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