im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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