Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
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