Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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