Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize