Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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