sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
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I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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