kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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