so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize