yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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