Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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