drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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