My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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