Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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