i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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