A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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